Reflections on August 28

The chorus to the song Gigolos get Lonely Too says, “Contrary to rumor, gigolos get lonely too. All my lovers need stimulation. But honey babe, I think that I need you….”

I truly used to think when I was a gigolo that I really needed the men I was with to take care of all my needs but I was always reaching for the brass ring grabbing nothing. I was always let down. This is so co-dependent! Since spending time alone, I have found the needs I have are being fulfilled by a loving God and now that I reflect back on it, I never gave Him a chance. I always relied on false providers, including myself. I could not even fulfill my own needs. That’s why I was looking outside of myself for comfort, for financial security, for peace, for passion, for understanding, for love.

I have more fulfillment now without being a gigolo. Being a gigolo is very lonely. I am amazed how I am alone but never lonely. Even in this Covid-19 isolation, I feel deeply connected to people, to myself, and to a God of my understanding. I feel truly loved and provided for and this need being filled is not coming from any outside source. It is coming from within.

Today, the God of my understanding is fulfilling all my needs. I really want for nothing and I have no lack in my life. I am blessed beyond belief and grateful for the journey from gigolo to being alone that helped me get here!