July 16 Celibacy VII

I also had an addiction to porn. It started real young when I discovered my father’s Playboy magazines hidden in the basement laundry room. Doing the laundry on Saturday was one of my chores so I would bide my time looking through the pages at the slick, glossy bodies as I held it in my hands. As an adult, I found a stash of one of my ex-fiance’s dirty magazines when he walked out of where we lived together. It opened up Pandora’s Box. I became addicted to renting videos, reading gay porn, having a lot of sex with different partners and going on the internet to porn sites when I wasn’t in a relationship. Thank God I finally hit bottom with all of that.

Today I heard that people addicted to porn are looking for God. I agree. That’s exactly what I was looking for and since He and I are now in a relationship, the need to escape through fantasy has been removed by His grace and mercy.