Making the same mistakes when it comes to romantic relationships is so depressing. When I meet someone I am attracted to, there is this compulsion to “dive in” mixed with the mental obsession of having the person. Then, not being able to put the brakes on any of it, my sex and love addiction is running the show. I no longer wish to be in a relationship like that. I want to experience real love and I’m reaching for it inside myself before I look to anyone on the outside to give it to me.
Today celibacy has given me time away from addictive and compulsive behavior and allowed me to learn how to love me and attend to my needs without being co-dependent on anything or anyone. I only depend and put my trust in God. I press on toward the goal.