Today’s Awareness

I’m really grateful I haven’t met anyone romantically in a really long time because I have been in an abusive relationship with myself. I am in recovery now from all the damage I have done to myself with food. I have several diagnosis from being overweight that I am determined to heal from. It has something to do with turning 60 in a few days. I want to go in changing the things I can. I’ve had many failed attempts at weight loss but I am determined now that I have broken up the relationship I was having with a very destructive side of me. It had me doing things I did not want to do. Food addiction is the last frontier but the food is only the symptom. Underneath that was a sinister, unhealed part of myself that was running the show and like all other addictions I was powerless to do anything about it. Until I surrendered.

The reality is, had I met someone during this crucial time in my recovery, that person would have been abusive also because I know by now that you attract where you are. The vibes I would have sent out would have been a message to him that it is ok to abuse me because I am busy abusing myself.

No, every day that I am choosing to eat healthy foods and stay away from fast foods, sugar, fatty fried foods, candy, cookies, donuts, cakes, pies, shakes, ice cream and sodas, is a day I am recovering from this destructive side of myself.

Today I believe that the more choices I can make from a place of loving myself, a heathier type of mate would pick up on my vibes and vice versa. Today I am on my way to becoming a recovering food addict.