Today my housekeeper came and was fascinated with candy on my altar. She actually had the audacity to touch the candy! I told her to leave it. What was she thinking??? Then she had the nerve to call it voodoo. I was insulted and said it was not, it was an altar. Since she is Spanish, I assumed she had an awareness of what it was and I told her so. She said she grew up with it but turned to God and stopped. Well so did I. but doesn’t mean she needs to be in here touching my sacred objects.
Much later, long after she left, anger rose up in me and I felt indignant and picked up the phone, dialed her number to tell her so. She didn’t pick up. It went straight to voice mail. I left an irritated message for her, telling her she was wrong and a few other things. But taking my inventory now, I was wrong not correcting her while she was in here. Telling her to stop touching it was not effective. I see I should have handled this disrespect a lot different because now I’m the one in here with all the upset feelings. Not at her, at me for not correcting her in the moment. However what I’m perceiving as disrespect was really an observation of someone who was just very curious and not doing it out of any malice.
Me??? I am full of malice! I want her fired, I want to report her, give her a bad reputation to her employers…….it goes on and on and on. So, even though I have come a long way with this emotion, I still have a long way to go. On the other side of pain, I handled this a lot better than I would have a few 24 hours ago. Patting myself on the back instead of hitting myself with a hammer.
Today I’m taking my inventory and I see the exact nature of my wrongs. I will make amends to myself tonight, learn from this interaction, and let it go so I can have a peaceful evening.