It has been said there are no victims, only volunteers. As I grow older and live longer, I am finally begging to understand what this means. It means I made a choice to be in a romantic relationship, usually out of some self-serving need. It was rarely ever about forming a true partnership. Basically, I would then proceed to get upset every time my needs weren’t met. My constant frustration to get my needs met from a person (who may or may not be capable of giving) became painful and then claiming victim would step in to cover up and minimize my own destruction.
Today I will not treat MYSELF in a manner that is abusive. Today I will treat myself the way I want others to treat me. I begin to recognize what my needs are and find healthy ways to get them met without co-dependently looking to something else to fulfill them.