Friday’s Reflections:I did two important things today. I went and got my mammogram because October is Breast Cancer month and I went to vote. I see both as the same thing. One I did because I care about my health and one I did because I care about this country. Since breast cancer runs in my family, it’s important that I stay on top of it. I pray everything turns out alright when I get my results.
As I stood on a long line with other Key West citizens who turned out to early vote, I remembered my mom who was insistent that my brother and I get out there and VOTE! And then the lecture from her of how people died for the right to vote and how we shouldn’t take this right for granted and sit home. Head to the polls!
Since the pandemic, never in my lifetime have I felt so uncomfortable in my own country. Never in my 60 years have I felt so powerless to change things – until now! Now – standing in this line I get my chance to participate in making a change. I have not felt safe. I have felt financially afraid. I have wondered about what is going to happen with my health care, with my brother’s 401k. I have not travelled home to see my family and felt deprived. I realize I don’t like being the only black person in most of the circles I travel in. I’ve been indoors a lot and get out via zoom. It’s a bazar reality!
In my mind, as I stood in the line with my mask on, I’ve never felt more isolated and it has been unbelievable and unacceptable that in America I would feel so unsafe. Afraid to breathe, afraid to be, afraid something in the voting process is going to go unfairly wrong and then what is it all for? Afraid the Earth is going to open and swallow us all up or that the rug is going to be pulled out from under us and there will be nothing there to stand on when that happens. Feels like the end is near.
I want to have hope in this moment. I want to feel safe. I want to believe in this process called democracy. I’ve heard so many messages to the contrary in the past months: from talk of the Boston Tea Party to threats to suppress the black vote, to watching a bad ass black woman running for a head office being called a “monster”, to watching a woman judge be rushed to take the seat of a hero for women’s rights judge, who’s views are so radically different than the other. I feel the only thing I can have faith in is God. I took the little hope I had into the voting booth and with a pen in my hand, felt empowered.
I feel obsessed to go look at the polls, to see who’s up in front in several races I’m watching. But instead I force myself to watch the Hallmark Channel where Christmas movies are showing 24/7. And I pray that God will arise because I know I am not the only one turning to Him in this crucial moment. I pray everything turns out alright when I hear the results. Just saying……
27Bonnie Nichols, Valerie Boyd and 25 others11 CommentsLikeCommentShare