Wanting things can be internal or external. It seems it has taken a life time but what I have wanted is to stop falling in the same hole over and over again. The hole (pattern) of when a man I am attracted to pays attention to me, I take it all out of context and imagine it to be love. The problem with love addiction is that what I “perceive” as love and what love really is are two totally different things. One is based on illusion; the other is based on reality. I have wanted to stop getting it twisted and FINALLY I can see the progress I am making in this area as I continue to navigate around an attraction and stay out of romantic relationships.
Today I appreciate my growth in recovery and I also appreciate making better decisions – I am happy to be getting better!